How to Cuss Out a Mechanic

sans engine
4 letter words:

Hope (wish): see previous post on “Investments”

Left:  1. state of what something used to be and is no longer.  2.  The heavier side of a car.  3. A description  of the bosses current location.   4. An amount of a substance or product remaining that is just short of useful.

Help:  The act of obstructing progress by providing unwanted assistance.

Mind:  See also “care”.  A state of thought in witch most people don’t .

Dirty phrases
“I don’t have any money”:  usually  following the demand of  “whatever it is, fix it”

“I think it’s the…”:   Insisting on your own diagnosis is a sure way to get your foot in the …  well not in the door, and not your foot.

“my boyfriend (or dad, or friend) fixed…”  actually, in some situations, this could mean your repair will give the mechanic ideas about buying a boat.   Unless it’s the afore mentioned person making the statement previous to this one.

“first thing in the morning” :  makes a mechanic cringe.  it is a sure sign that you will be hungry before the promise is kept the next day.

“Its at the warehouse” : signifies the worth and value of a part you don’t have.  When the computer says its in the warehouse, no one really know for sure.  The part is usually somewhere; on a truck, in a store, at another place, in transit, on a plane, in a box, somewhere in this store but  someone moved it…  its always somewhere, just never at hand.

Practice and proper use of these techniques will leave mechanics softly weeping in bars every night.

One Response to “How to Cuss Out a Mechanic”

  1. Wait, you forgot
    “Its on backorder!”
    “it will be there in ten minutes”
    “you can’t get it that way, its part of an assembly”
    “its made out of unobtainium.”

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